I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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