i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
