You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
