dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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