Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Randomize
