If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
