okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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