who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
