sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
