Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
