i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize