Screwed.edu
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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