i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
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