at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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