I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
