to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
