In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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