We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
