After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
