It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Text me some of your sweat
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
