first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Two words: nipple clamps
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