I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
