I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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