Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
