so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
