you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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