no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
