woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
