We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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