And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
