How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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