oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
