Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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