I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
