just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
