I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
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