True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
