Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
