I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
How does one acquire holy water?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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