I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Randomize
