go do what you do best...puke behind churches
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
