I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
