i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
