Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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