Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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