fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
