did you get engaged???
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
