Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
