she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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