also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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