I need help removing her.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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