how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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