sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
