What a fucking waste of an outfit
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
