i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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