Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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