Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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