u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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