So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
