the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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