Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
this is an emotional support booty call
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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