wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize
