There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize