She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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