After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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