I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
