You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
