I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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