so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
