I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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