I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
