I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
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