god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
