I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize