Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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