this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize