SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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