Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Randomize
